Slipping
by MajesticGull
Summary: He knew he was slipping closer and closer to some sort of mental breakdown. He didn't why, and he didn't even know when it had all started, he just knew that one day he had woken up and he didn't want to get out of bed. But now that he and Eva have a case that hits a little too close to home, he realized that breakdown was closer then he thought. Warnings inside! RosaWatts build up


-Chapter One-

-Unnatural Feeling of General Unhappiness-

**Warning(s):** Substance Abuse, Depression. Please, do not read if either of these trigger you. I'd rather you stay safe and happy. xx

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><p>Neil didn't care that Eva had called him mere moments ago to tell him that he needed to be ready in five minutes so they could head off on a case. He was tired - not that that was anything new to him - and he wanted a coffee before he even thought of dressing out of his pajamas at three o'clock in the morning - when he should be sleeping - and into something a little bit more civil.<p>

By the time Eva did arrive, he was just sculling the last remains of his coffee, opening the door with his spare hand and waggling his eyebrows at a furious looking Eva. He noted that she wasn't wearing her white and gold lab coat and was only wearing a red sweater and long, black skirt. He mentally cursed at the sight; Eva only ever took of her lab coat for the car ride if it was over an hour or two in length, and he rubbed his face and gestured for her to enter.

"I told you to be ready in five. It's been eight minutes and you're not ready."

"Yeah, sorry about that, but I needed a coffee and it really couldn't wait," he muttered, leaving his co-worker standing in his far from clean lounge-room to enter his bedroom. He quickly changed out of his pajamas into a Star Wars shirt and dark jacket, slipping into a pair of dark dress pants to make him seem slightly more professional before rolling a pair of grey socks over his feet. He quickly stepped into his shoes, kicking them into place while he combed his hair. He glanced himself in the mirror, pulling a face and pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He left his bedroom, ignoring the way Eva continued to glare at him, and grabbed his phone and the small, blue pill bottle from the top drawer of his kitchen bench, dropping both into the pockets of his pants. He grabbed his apartment keys and turned back into the loungeroom, shooting Eva a grin that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"We can leave now."

"About time," the woman muttered, turning on her heel and exiting his apartment, already starting towards the elevator and not waiting for Neil to lock his apartment. He cursed to himself, running to catch up with her, sliding into the elevator and pressing the ground button while she leant up against the side.

"You know I waited outside in the cold for you to come down."

"Well you could've just come upstairs where it's warm like any normal person," Neil retorted, fighting down the sudden spike of anger that shot through his chest. He forced himself to take a calming breath; he never used to get angry so easy. It had only been in recent months that he had found himself harbouring a shorter temper, something he was determined to keep to himself.

He didn't want to make anyone worry about him, be it Eva - who he doubted actually knew what worry really was - or the few family members he still had.

He yawned loudly, covering his mouth with the back of his hand and exited the lift, following Eva blindly as she lead him to his apartment complex's carpark. Their new company car - one that wasn't as expensive as the first, thanks to his expert driving skills that still made him grin - sat amongst the sea of cheap cars. It wasn't an expensive apartment complex, and people who lived there rarely had a lot of money.

It wasn't that Neil was broke, it was just that his job required him to travel a lot, so why pay heaps of money for a home he never really saw?

He opened the passenger side door - Eva still refused to let him drive - and slid into, closing it rather harshly as he grumbled at the time. The dashboard clock flashed the numbers 3:21 at him when Eva turned the key in the ignition, and he glared at it briefly before rubbing the still present sleep from his eyes.

He needed another coffee.

"Hey Eva, can we pull into the drive through at that coffee shop and order a coffee? I need one."

Eva sent him a glare as she pulled out of the parking lot, "No."

"What?" Neil sent her a flabbergasted look, "Why not?"

"Because, Neil, I waited around for you while you drank a coffee. We're not wasting more time just so you can get another one."

Neil didn't reply, but instead sunk lower in his seat, one knee bobbing up and down as he glared out the passenger window. Lights from the various buildings they passed that were mad enough to still be awake flashed past in the darkness and he stifled another yawn.

"It's a four hour drive, just go to sleep Neil."

Neil would've laughed if Eva knew he never slept, but she didn't so he merely snorted and shook his head, "If I did that I'd be worse when I wake up again."

Eva didn't reply and he glanced at her. He couldn't make out her face in the darkness, but he knew she had glanced at him briefly when he answered before looking forward again. He shrugged his shoulders and glanced back outside, "So who's the client?"

"Anna Pettifyer. Mid 70's. Unmarried, one brother who died a few years ago. She's been cared for by her nephew Daniel - who also happens to be her doctor - and lives with him and his two girls Leslie and Iris. That's all I know," Eva replied almost instantly, and Neil was almost impressed with how well she remembered information. He tended to forget within an hour or two.

"It's been a while since we've done a woman. Lately we've been getting a lot of men," he remarked, sitting up straighter in the chair when his back started to protest his slouching. He almost sighed when Eva didn't respond to his remark, and he instead leaned up against the side of the car, watching as the buildings changed to tall trees that were barely visible in the pressing darkness. His mind wandered, and he eventually found himself in the grips of his ever present self dilemma.

He knew he was slipping closer and closer to some sort of mental breakdown. He didn't why, and he didn't even know when it had all started, he just knew that one day he had woken up and he didn't want to get out of bed. If he were to be entirely honest with himself, he knew that wasn't when it had started, but it was first time it had gotten to the point where it disrupted his daily life. He had forced himself, of course; Eva had called him three times within an hour demanding to know why he hadn't shown up to the office, and eventually she had just arrived at his apartment when he didn't answer. He had gone to work, and he had joked and laughed and passed it off as him just missing his alarm, but really he had just buried himself under the covers, listening to his breathing while he screwed his eyes shut and wondered why he wasn't happy.

He didn't sleep that night.

He hadn't slept perfectly ever since.

It wasn't that he was sad, he just wasn't happy. He didn't know why; he had a perfectly fine life. He had a co-worker who, even if they argued and nit-picked each other, he trusted more than anyone, and he had a loving family back in the city. His parents were both still alive and healthy, and his sister - who he was on good terms with - had just gotten married mere months ago to one of the best guys he had met. They even had a year and a half old son, who, even though he had vomited on Neil's shirt the first time he had held him, had Neil wrapped around his little finger.

But even though he had a perfectly good life, he wasn't happy. He didn't know what he wanted anymore, and he didn't even know if what he was doing was what he wanted to do. Sure, he loved helping people, but he didn't think he could keep going on if he'd somehow grow attached to their client - even though he told himself over and over again not to get attached - only to watch them die at the end of the day.

He didn't understand what he was feeling; he tried to pretend it was all fake and that he was happy, but no matter how many grins he shot Eva, or how many god awful puns he told his brother in law over family dinner every Friday night, it wasn't working. It was making him frustrated and it kept him awake at night trying to figure out why he wasn't as happy as he had been months earlier.

His mind drifted to the suddenly heavy pill bottle in his pocket and he barely noticed that his hand had slipped into his pocket and grasped it tightly. He didn't know why, but whenever he was really frustrated, or really unhappy, a pill or two always seemed to take the edge off of his emotions and helped him fall into a seemingly endless numbness.

It never really was an endless, but he still liked to pretend it was.

He glanced quickly over at his co-worker, Eva's face a lit bit more visible as the sun rose steadily up behind them.

"How long to we get there? I never did ask…"

"Four hours," was her quiet reply - she didn't bring up that she had already told Neil that - and Neil hummed an affirmative that he had heard her.

"Did you bring any water? I have a headache?" the lie tasted bitter in his mouth but he needed an excuse to take a couple of his pills. Normally, he wouldn't take them while Eva was right next to him, but it was still dark enough for him to take a couple from the bottle without her reading the title.

"In my handbag. It's next to the equipment; don't drink too much."

He shot her a grin and thanked her, leaning around the snatch it from the back seat. He turned back around, unzipping it and pulling the plastic bottle out. He quickly took two pills, screwing the lid back on and shoving it in his pocket a little too fast just in case Eva managed to make out what it was, even in the early morning darkness. He swallowed them with a mouthful of water, smiling softly to himself as he closed the water bottle and dropped it back into Eva's bag. Instead of throwing it back into the back seat, he dropped it at his feet and leaned the seat back.

He was barely aware of Eva asking him how bad his headache was as he slipped into a sudden and well recieved sleep.

Apparently he was more tired than he had thought.

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><p>Neil woke up much later to Eva shaking his shoulder and roughly calling his name. He groaned and blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he glanced to where she was seated in the driver's seat.<p>

The sun was up above the horizon, but the air still had that early morning crisp to it that always came with the winter season. He pulled his phone from his pocket, turning the screen on just to read that it was thirty-five past seven and he yawned. Slipping the phone back into his pocket with a hand, he pushed open the door, stepping out and shivering at the cold. He reached back in, grabbing both his and Eva's coats, before shutting the door. He threw Eva's white and gold one to her, and she slipped into it far quicker than it took for him to shrug his own on.

"I thought you weren't going to sleep."

"I guess I was really tired," Neil flashed her a smile and she shot him one of her rare, small smiles that he found ever so pretty back in return.

He ignored the way his heart fluttered at the sight.

With a shiver as the cold pressed through his coat, he opened the back door, pulling out the case of equipment with him. He grunted, dropping it hastily on the asphalt road so he could close the door. Eva stood on the sidewalk, hands pressed into the pockets of her jacket as she watched him bend down to pick it up, smug smirk set firmly on her lips.

"You're definitely carrying this next time," Neil grunted, and Eva rolled her eyes as she turned to lead him towards the small house before them.

"Whatever you say Neil,"

Neil stuck his tongue out quickly, watching as his breath fogged up before him, and he cursed the cold and the snow and everything that had anything to do with winter. Except Christmas, because that meant lots and lots of food and Neil loved food more than anything. Eva merely sent him a small glare as she reached the door, pulling out a hand to knock on the front door before quickly shoving it back into it's pocket.

They stood in the cold for a minute or two, Neil shifting from foot to foot with the weight of the equipment, wishing that he was at home with a hot coffee and his thick blankets.

Finally, after what Neil deemed far too long for such a small house, the door was swung open and they found themselves staring down at a girl who could only be fourteen.

She was fully dressed, wearing dark jeans and a bright pink jacket, beanie covering the top of her head and her long, bright blond hair falling from underneath it to hang well below her shoulders. She smiled up at them and held open the door.

"Are you guys the doctors Dad called for?"

"That would be us," Neil grinned, following Eva into the lounge room, "I'm Dr. Sherlo-"

"He's name is Neil," Eva interrupted and Neil pouted slightly, causing the girl to grin. Eva sent Neil a small glare, the corners of her mouth upturned slightly, before she turned back to the girl to continue, "I'm Eva and I'm guessing your Leslie?"

The girl - Leslie - gave a nod, "My sister and Dad are in the kitchen, I'll just go get them for you."

Neil dropped the equipment and feigned a look of innocence when Eva turned at the sound. She shook her head and he shrugged back at her, opening his mouth to joke, only to be interrupted when a man, followed by Leslie and a younger girl with dark hair that hung just below her chin, entered the room.

"It's good to meet you Eva," the man smiled at her warmly and shook her hand, "and you too Neil."

Neil nodded his reply and Eva let go of the man's hand.

"If you don't mind, Daniel, is it?" Eva asked, and Neil almost snorted; he knew that she knew his name was in fact Daniel, but in an attempt to seem friendly, she was going to ask him personally. Neil always hated when she did that.

"Yes, Daniel it is," the man smiled and ran a hand through his hair, "and these are my daughters. You've already met Leslie, the younger one is Iris."

"Hello girls. Anyway, Daniel, do you mind taking us straight to Ms. Pettifyre? We'd rather get started sooner rather than later," Eva smiled and Daniel nodded, gesturing for them to follow.

"She's just down here. I can't tell you much, but I know that her one wish is that she never left to adopt her husky Jack. It's not that she didn't want the dog; if she could still have the dog, she would, but it's really a case of only being able to have it or… something else," Daniel explained, Eva nodded understandingly as they walked. They reached the end of the hall and Daniel opened the door. He gestured for Leslie to take Iris away, and she did, promising the younger girl that she'd make them pancakes for breakfast.

They filed into the room and Neil glanced at the elderly lady in the bed as he started to set up the machine. Her dark grey hair had been cut shortly but had grown out in a slightly messy way since she had become bedridden. Her skin was wrinkled with age and had the same tanned complexion as both Daniel and Iris. Only Leslie had the pale skin, and Neil guessed that she got that from her mother.

"Can you tell us why that's her wish? It would make this all the more easier?" Eva asked kindly, and Neil wondered why she never spoke to him in that tone.

"I- I better not. Can you guys figure it out in I weren't to tell you? It's not exactly my place to tell, and to be quite honest, I don't really know the full story. I was only very young when it happened," Daniel seemed nervous and Neil sent him a small glare.

"Well, if you want her wish to be met, it'd be easier if you-"

"We can figure it out Mr. Pettifyer," Eva gave him a smile, turning on her heel to send Neil a glare. He stuck his tongue out again before turning back to the machine, hooking it up and flicking it on.

"We're ready to go Eva," he mumbled and Eva gave him a small nod, moving to grab the helmet. She quickly but gently placed it over the top of Anna's head, before moving to pick her own up.

"You can hang around if you want Daniel, but if you want to go be with your daughters then thats acceptable."

Daniel shook his head, "I wish to be with my Aunt during her last day. The girls may join me later… is that okay?"

"Perfectly fine," Neil replied before Eva could, sliding into the chair behind the machine, his own helmet already on his head. He turned to Eva, "You ready?"

Eva slipped the helmet over her dark hair, "Ready."

"Here we go," Neil muttered, more to himself than anyone else, and he started the machine, his eyes closing as he fell into a field of blackness.

When he became aware once more, he was standing on the sidewalk of a central city park, Eva beside them and their client kneeling in the middle of an eerily quiet road, staring down at one spot while she cradled her head in her hands.

Neil sighed. He really was sick of sad cases.

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><p><strong>A|N:<strong> Hello! It's been a couple of months since I posted Little White Pills, and I really didn't think I was going to write anything else for this tiny, tiny fandom, but hey! I did, and I can't wait to continue! I really have some great ideas for this story :D

I'll see you all in a week when I update this, and please, leave a review if you have the time. I really want to know if I should continue this or not.

Much love, - Taylor


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